When is the last time someone looked at you? I don’t mean some rudimentary acknowledgement or some other mundane look like “yeah I see you there.” Or a quizzical look that says, “what’s your deal, mister?” And I certainly am not referring to some stalkerish dead eyed star.
The kind of look I remember and long for is that look that is so hard and sharp at you it stops you cold. The look that makes any string of words superfluous. The kind of look that says “I know.”
It’s one of those little things we never seem to appreciate and yet we miss so much when it’s gone. It’s the unspoken communication that we long for so much when it is amiss. Just knowing someone knows you in so many ways and can express it to you with saying a single word is comforting on a level beyond comprehension. The burdens of explanation and expression shrugged off in a sudden glance. When someone knows you so well words aren’t necessary.
Communication may be the cornerstone of most relationships. But it has nothing on silence.
We may go on and on about comfortable silences and how it is a unparalleled sign of our comfort level with each other. Yet, It’s a sign that you’re barely able to coexist without speaking if you must acknowledge it in the first place. Words are often filler for discomfort and uncertainty.
I am referring to the muted communications that say so much. A quick glance. A subtle brush against your arm that last a beat too long. The knowing stare into your eyes, wild desire bursting from your pupils, so powerful you can feel it in your soul. Stuff like that.
As is the case with most matters of the heart, it can as much a curse as it is a heart stopping moment of pure bliss. For, when someone knows you so well, on a deeper level than anyone else ever has, it can become a weapon of immeasurable power. Allowing someone in and giving up that much power is both romantic and risky.
Words are our enemy. They get in the way and often minimize how we really feel. People are too careful to say what they really think. But, looks; looks don’t lie. Wordless forms of communication mean more than any flowery poem or passionate declaration of commitment.